Marriage…Pt 1
October 23rd, 2009 | EMail This PostTypical macho man married typical good-looking lady,and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
“I’ll be home when I want, if I want and at what ever time I want and I don’t expect any hassle from you. I aspect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won’t be home for dinner. I’ll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies, and don’t you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?”
His new bride said: “No”, that’s fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o’clock every night……..whether you’re here or not.”
Some Jokes
August 11th, 2009 | EMail This PostA blonde was hard up for money, so she walked around her neighborhood,trying to find a job. She met a nice man who said he would give her work. All she had to do was paint his porch white. He gave her a bucket of paint and left.
He walked into his house, laughing. He told his wife what he had done. “Frank, our porch covers half of the house! You’re so mean.” his wife replied.
Three hours later, the blonde went in the house, and gave the bucket of white paint back to the man. The astonished man handed her a $100 bill, and asked how she finished it so quickly.
“It takes time, but it was easy.” was her reply. “Oh, and it’s a Ferrari, not a Porsche.”
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A guy goes into a pet store and sees a beautiful parrot but it has a blue string handing from one foot and a red one from the other. He thinks this is a little strange so he asks the shopkeeper what the strings are for.
“Well this is a highly trained parrot” the shopkeeper replies. “If you pull the red string he talks in French, if you pull the blue string he talks in English.”
“Wow” exclaims the guy. “What happens if you pull them both at the same time?”
“I fall off my perch you idiot!” exclaims the parrot.
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